There are two activities in life that my sanity depends on. Exercise and Painting. Both prevent my extremely over thinking brain from not blowing up. Exercise is easier as I walk my dog, so by default I am at least moving around, although until about three weeks ago I had a really hard time since my last move finding the regular time slot for my addiction to work out videos. But I finally decided I should just suck it up and try the 10pm spot, and you know what, it works and my sanity improved a bit.
With that hurdle overcome I decided to attack the more difficult key to mental stability…the creative outlet I have that is not commercial, never has to be viewed or judged by anyone, that I can just do what I want and let myself go. In my last apartment I had a painting studio/library set up for about 9 months and I think painted for about an hour one day. When I moved, I set up the same room and its been five months and nada. I have paints, canvas, stretchers, brushes…everything I need…well except I need to stretch some canvases, slap on some a few coats of gesso and off I can go. Well, last week I was FINALLY going to sit down and build a few canvases…I was so excited until I opened the primer…and wtf?!?!?!?
I had apparenty, and not noticed for two years, bought a gallon of heavy gloss instead of gesso. Crap. Well, never one to let a little thing stand in my way of doing something I set out to do, I scooped up handfuls of the gloss, slapped it on a big sheet of plywood and played around. About an hour later I decided to research what the hell gloss is used for and realized it was an improved upon medium for the gesso base I used in my mixed media, tissue paper, water color series I did a few years back. I dragged out the tissue (still ripped up from that series!), tubes of water color and got to town. It felt good. Really good. I had plans I had to attend to, so I cleaned up and swore I’d return…and you know what, I did.
I’m not ready to share anything, but it feels magnificent to be painting again…I have a hard time at this stage of my work obsessed life doing something that is not towards the goal of building an empire and painting in a way allows me to do as it I can think “well, I always COULD try and sell them, if I wanted to”. Sick, I know.
Eh whatever, I’m painting…I’m doing step aerobics…I COOKED MYSELF DINNER the other night…life is truly full of miracles…