The “I’m so excited/omg, what I have I done?” moment.
Over the years in owning Manic Trout, I have of course had many ups and downs. There have been explosions of business and good fortunes as well as horrible disasters and slow times. I have learned from each and every one and learned enough to not get overly excited about new projects until they begin to prove that they’re overly awesome. I just kept plugging away, continuing to build with every success and failure I encountered. Then one day a few months ago, only a short time after I took the plunge to pursue Manic Trout full time, an opportunity arose and I began embarking on project that seems to have grown its own legs, stood up and started doing marathons. Admittedly, I have worked harder and had more help with developing this project than with anything I’ve ever done and it shows. The launch date is still 3 weeks away and I am already stunned at the buzz.
This has resulted in the past few days being a combination of my wanting to jump up and down and yell about how I excited I am, and trying not to throw up about how big it just may be. I keep trying to tell myself that so many projects I have worked on have meant to be HUGE and ended up being tiny. So I really shouldn’t get my hopes up. And then I talk to someone and tell them all about this project and whats been going on with it and they give me a look. A look that says…you realize what you’re getting into right? You understand what may happen? And then I get really quiet and kind of want to throw up again. Because not only do I realize it, but really I have been working for ten years towards this.
You dream of this day, the day when you think that all of your years of hard work (and work, and work and more work) may actually result in what you have been working towards. There are overwhelming emotions of pride, fear, awe and disbelief washing over you. Like watching a tidal wave approach while your feet are stuck in the ground. I am trying to remember these three weeks…remember how I felt and what I thought. Like standing on a diving board…bouncing once, twice, three times for luck and then….leap!