Deep Thoughts

Miracles happen…

ElleEspanaApril2010
Image from Elle Espana April 2010

There are two activities in life that my sanity depends on.  Exercise and Painting.  Both prevent my extremely over thinking brain from not blowing up.  Exercise is easier as I walk my dog, so by default I am at least moving around, although until about three weeks ago I had a really hard time since my last move finding the regular time slot for my addiction to work out videos.  But I finally decided I should just suck it up and try the 10pm spot, and you know what, it works and my sanity improved a bit.

With that hurdle overcome I decided to attack the more difficult key to mental stability…the creative outlet I have that is not commercial, never has to be viewed or judged by anyone, that I can just do what I want and let myself go.  In my last apartment I had a painting studio/library set up for about 9 months and I think painted for about an hour one day.  When I moved, I set up the same room and its been five months and nada.  I have paints, canvas, stretchers, brushes…everything I need…well except I need to stretch some canvases, slap on some a few coats of gesso and off I can go.  Well, last week I was FINALLY going to sit down and build a few canvases…I was so excited until I opened the primer…and wtf?!?!?!?

I had apparenty, and not noticed for two years, bought a gallon of heavy gloss instead of gesso.  Crap.  Well, never one to let a little thing stand in my way of doing something I set out to do, I scooped up handfuls of the gloss, slapped it on a big sheet of plywood and played around.  About an hour later I decided to research what the hell gloss is used for and realized it was an improved upon medium for the gesso base I used in my mixed media, tissue paper, water color series I did a few years back.  I dragged out the tissue (still ripped up from that series!), tubes of water color and got to town.  It felt good.  Really good.  I had plans I had to attend to, so I cleaned up and swore I’d return…and you know what, I did.

I’m not ready to share anything, but it feels magnificent to be painting again…I have a hard time at this stage of my work obsessed life doing something that is not towards the goal of building an empire and painting in a way allows me to do as it I can think “well, I always COULD try and sell them, if I wanted to”.   Sick, I know.

Eh whatever, I’m painting…I’m doing step aerobics…I COOKED MYSELF DINNER the other night…life is truly full of miracles…

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